Am I in Love or Just Plain STUPID??
Dear Miss Diva,
I have heard your segments on a few of the shows, and have tried to follow your blog as much as possible. I think that you have a lot of great things to say about relationships, which is why I am writing you this letter.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 months. In these 3 months, he has both lied AND cheated on me. I heard you say that those are signs that a relationship is or should be over, but I have recently found out that I am pregnant. Although my boyfriend says that he will change and be faithful, and he says that he will be here for our child, it is hard for me to believe him.
I don't know if I should just leave, and raise this baby on my own, or if I should give him a chance and see if he really does change. All I know is that I don't want to be hurt anymore.
Thanks,
L. G.
Dear L-
First of all, thanks for listening and reading! I appreciate your support and I am glad that you sought out my advice. Now, about this boyfriend. You know, the first thing that came to mind when I read your letter is a quote from Maya Angelou that is one of my personal mottos- "If someone shows you who they are, believe them." What do I mean?
Well, in most relationships, one or both of the parties involved are putting their best foot forward. Sometimes this means that the real person is not the person that you are getting to know and falling for. Fortunately for you, your situation is differemt. He has shown you, pretty much from Jump Street, who and WHAT he is.
Only YOU can decide if you need to move on, but let me say a few things. No matter what kind of BOYFRIEND he may be to you, every man deserves the opportunity to be a father to their child. Aside from being knocked around, walking away from a man while you are carrying his child and not giving him the chance to be a father is wrong. It took both of you to make that baby, and it will take both of you to raise it. Now, if, once he is given the chance, he doesn't hold up his end of the responsibility, at that point, walking away is fine. But let HIM be the one to walk away by not being a father to his child.
I don't know what your ages are, or what your living situation is, but I will also say this. Time apart is good for ANY couple. Taking some time to yourself and giving him the same will allow both of you to concentrate on yourselves so that you can focus on what it is that you really want. Now will he change? Maybe. Maybe not. Only he really knows that. But I have to believe what they say about a leopard not changing its spots.
No matter what you decide, I would like to congratulate you on your pregnancy, and wish the best for you. Good luck!
I have heard your segments on a few of the shows, and have tried to follow your blog as much as possible. I think that you have a lot of great things to say about relationships, which is why I am writing you this letter.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 months. In these 3 months, he has both lied AND cheated on me. I heard you say that those are signs that a relationship is or should be over, but I have recently found out that I am pregnant. Although my boyfriend says that he will change and be faithful, and he says that he will be here for our child, it is hard for me to believe him.
I don't know if I should just leave, and raise this baby on my own, or if I should give him a chance and see if he really does change. All I know is that I don't want to be hurt anymore.
Thanks,
L. G.
Dear L-
First of all, thanks for listening and reading! I appreciate your support and I am glad that you sought out my advice. Now, about this boyfriend. You know, the first thing that came to mind when I read your letter is a quote from Maya Angelou that is one of my personal mottos- "If someone shows you who they are, believe them." What do I mean?
Well, in most relationships, one or both of the parties involved are putting their best foot forward. Sometimes this means that the real person is not the person that you are getting to know and falling for. Fortunately for you, your situation is differemt. He has shown you, pretty much from Jump Street, who and WHAT he is.
Only YOU can decide if you need to move on, but let me say a few things. No matter what kind of BOYFRIEND he may be to you, every man deserves the opportunity to be a father to their child. Aside from being knocked around, walking away from a man while you are carrying his child and not giving him the chance to be a father is wrong. It took both of you to make that baby, and it will take both of you to raise it. Now, if, once he is given the chance, he doesn't hold up his end of the responsibility, at that point, walking away is fine. But let HIM be the one to walk away by not being a father to his child.
I don't know what your ages are, or what your living situation is, but I will also say this. Time apart is good for ANY couple. Taking some time to yourself and giving him the same will allow both of you to concentrate on yourselves so that you can focus on what it is that you really want. Now will he change? Maybe. Maybe not. Only he really knows that. But I have to believe what they say about a leopard not changing its spots.
No matter what you decide, I would like to congratulate you on your pregnancy, and wish the best for you. Good luck!
really useful info, keep up the good work!
Reply to this