The dictionary definition of the word "friend" is "a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard". The true definition of friend goes so much deeper than that. I have a lot of people in my life, some are friends and some are acquaintances. Some I am friends to, and for some the road of friendship goes both ways.

I think that it's important for me to post this particular blog because I have some "friends" (and I use that term so very, very loosely) that I think that it is time for me to remove from my life, and I know that there have GOT to be other people out there that go through the same thing ... hence the reason for this blog!

I am a firm believer in the old adage "treat others as you want them to treat you", and I live by it. I don't do people wrong, and I don't treat people badly. I approach a lot of situations with the thought of how I would hope that people would treat me if I were in their shoes. This, along with my ridiculous inablilty to say "no" makes me a grade A top notch friend. Either that or a doormat. What I have come to learn over the years is that, unfortunately, there are a lot of other people in the world that DON'T feel the same way that I feel, and will leave you standing in the middle of sh*t creek with no paddle. So, how do you handle these people and/ or situations?

Well, the first thing that I have had to tell myself is not to block my blessings because of another person's inability to be a real friend. But on the other hand, I have to remember not to be a fool. I know I just said a lot. Here's what I mean. Don't change the person that you are, but don't continue to let people walk all over you. There is nothign wrong with saying "no". Stop bending over backwards for people that wouldn't even bend forwards for you. Stop making people a priority in your life when you are nothing more than a thought in theirs. Got that?

The second thing that I had to realize is that some people are just plain selfish; whereas I have a tendancy to put myself aside to make sure that those around me are okay. This has led me, in the past, to put myself, my family, my life, my issues, and my happiness on the back burner. While this may make the people that are the receiving end happy, it leaves me feeling empty, and in most cases where I need someone to be there for me, it leaves me alone. This is no way to live life. So, I have decided that for some of these people I have to step back and determine whether or not this person would go completely out of their way for me in the same way that I am thinking about doing for them. 9 times out of 10, the answer would be no.

So, now, that leaves me to ask (and answer) the question "what makes a real friend?" A friend is someone that listens when you need them to, and doesn't give you unsolicited advice. A friend is someone that has your back, your front, and both of your sides. A friend is someone that believes in you, supports you and encourages you. A friend is someone that disregards the popular opinion of you because they have their own. A friend is someone that, when times are hard, knows that they can turn to you and you can turn to them. A friend cries when you cry, laughs when you laugh, and smiles when you smile. A friend is someone that you can trust with your deepest, darkest secrets without worrying about whether or not they are going to judge you. A friend loves you for YOU, not for what you can do for them. A friend is someone that can sometimes be closer than family.

Now, sit back and evaluate all of your "friendships". Are you REALLY a friend, or are you an acquaintance? And what about your friends? Are they really your friend, or woud you be better off without them? I bet your answers would shock you!